Good Boy Pie Thief Identified

JAN 2023 Story by ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE

Black Labrador Retriever was seen approaching the bench and carefully selecting the Big Nude Seafood Pie

A Queenstown Pie Club member was shocked to find their Big Nude Seafood Pie had been stolen from their kitchen bench. The thief, however, was not a human, but rather the resident's own beloved dog. Name suppression has been put in place for the dog.

According to witnesses, a black Labrador Retriever was seen approaching the bench and carefully selecting the Big Nude Seafood Pie. The dog then proceeded to snatch the pie and make a run for it, disappearing from view.

According to Pie Club member and dog owner, Ken, the canine always had a fondness for seafood and had been known to sneak food in the past. However, he never suspected the dog would go so far as to steal an entire Big Nude Seafood Pie. Ken Claims "It's a real shame, especially considering it’s my favourite flavour.”

After the incident, local animal control officers questioned the dog about the crime. The animal, however, was unable to provide any information or motive for its actions.

The incident comes during a national spike in criminal activity including the likes of ram raids, causing concern across the nation. Authorities claim the incident is a reminder for Pie Club

members to always be vigilant if they freeze their Fat Bastard Pies, only later to thaw them out in open spaces.

Despite the dog's criminal behaviour, many in the community have expressed sympathy, arguing his actions were simply the result of its natural instincts and should not be punished too harshly.

Ken has since taken steps to secure the kitchen bench and prevent his “Good Boy” from accessing any more of his Fat Bastard Pies.

 

Another questionable story from….

New Zealand's official satirical pie related news serving up the stories that matter to kiwi's across the nation. The Fat Bastard Times is a monthly publication distributed to Pie Club members via a box of pies. Each story is then published here on the internet for historical archiving purposes. The editorial news room is headquartered at the home of Fat Bastard Pies in Invercargill NZ.

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