Pie Toll Remains Zero After Near Miss

Dec 2022 Words by Lou Evans

16 pies narrowly escaped fatality in a reported near miss collision between two Fat Bastards in Rotorua this week.

It was reported the incident happened at about 2.30pm on Monday, as occupants of both vehicles had just picked up their Fat Bastard deliveries from the Rotorua post office.

“In my hurry to get home I just popped the box on the backseat of the car.” Jon, a self identifying Fat Bastard, reported to The Fat Bastard Times. “[Another] Fat Bastard backed out in front of me

- I had to slam on the brakes.”

While there were no fatalities or injuries to either of the vehicle's occupants, inital concern was raised as to the damage of the contents of the Fat Bastards box.

“The pie box rolled onto the floor of the car. ” Jon reported.

“I thought well that’s them buggered.”

After inspection, concerns were disregarded as unfounded when all pies were accounted for unharmed.

“The packaging was amazing,” Jon remarked.

"We're keen to hear from anyone who may has captured this incident at 2:30pm on Monday on their vehicle's dash-cam or local business owners who may have CCTV footage," Fat Bastard’s Founding Father James Owen said in a statement.

Anyone with footage of the accident or who witnessed it can contact Fat Bastards via email on hello@fatbastardpies.nz

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New Zealand's official satirical pie related news serving up the stories that matter to kiwi's across the nation. The Fat Bastard Times is a monthly publication distributed to Pie Club members via a box of pies. Each story is then published here on the internet for historical archiving purposes. The editorial news room is headquartered at the home of Fat Bastard Pies in Invercargill NZ.